The Advice That Changed How I Approach Every Job Interview

It helped me ditch the canned responses for good

Photo: shapecharge /Getty Images

There’s nothing quite like being broke to put the pressure on you to nail an interview. I had just moved to California and had less than $500 in the bank — about half a month’s rent. My fledgling life-coaching business was beginning to take off, but income from my two clients definitely wasn’t enough to cover my bills. So I found myself looking for part-time jobs in a new city with few connections.

Eventually, I came across an opportunity to teach a first-year seminar at a university campus. I had never taught college students before, but I had my master’s degree and met the qualifications on paper. The position was everything I was looking for: It started immediately, was part-time, and paid well. As a bonus, it would be fun and interesting work.

An hour before I was set to interview with the dean, I got a call from my mentor coach, Jeremy. As I was talking about the opportunity, he could hear that I was nervous. I really wanted this job.

Jeremy then asked me a question that completely shifted my mindset: “What is the contribution you want to make in this position?”

I paused and let out a deep breath. I told him that I know how formative the first year of college can be, and that this seminar is all about developing critical thinking and personal skills for success in an academic environment. I said I wanted to help students learn those skills in a safe, supportive environment so they can be successful and take advantage of the same opportunities that education gave me. It was sincere. “Perfect,” Jeremy said. “Focus on that, and anything you say will be right.”

Here’s what Jeremy knew: People respond to how we are more than what we say. In interviews, it’s normal to be hyperaware of the words coming out of your mouth. If you’re at all nervous, you’re going to have thoughts like, “Did I get the answer right?” “What should I say next?” “Am I doing well?” Your brain’s default is to worry about what could go wrong, but ironically, this distracts you from being present and engaged.

You may have experienced this when speaking publicly. I have a teacher friend who describes her worst days in front of the class as a sort of meta out-of-body nightmare: “I’m writing on the whiteboard, and then my brain goes, ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about. The students aren’t paying attention.’ And suddenly I’ve totally lost the thread. When I snap out of it, I’m just standing there, awkwardly doing nothing.”

Good interviews happen when we show up engaged, authentic, and present. A simple way to accomplish this is to do what Jeremy taught me: Focus on the contribution you want to make through the job. This immediately takes the pressure off. You’re just there to have a conversation about a job you believe you could do well in.

Only a few short minutes after my conversation with Jeremy, I had a chance to put his advice to work when the dean asked me a very direct question during my interview: “Diversity and privilege are major themes in the course you would be teaching, and students in our college tend to be very critical. Given your position as a highly educated white man, how would you respond if students questioned your ability to teach on these topics?”

You can imagine how this could have gone if I had been focused on saying the right thing. I probably would have attempted to string together some incoherent jargon about diversity and privilege while sounding like I was reading off a teleprompter.

Instead, I thought again about the contribution I wanted to make as a lecturer, and I spoke from that. I acknowledged that this was a great question and shared my view that students should see faculty as co-learners who guide their experience but don’t have all the answers. I talked about a past experience that taught me the value of listening when we occupy a position of privilege. Finally, I said I would connect with other experienced faculty and relevant campus resources for mentorship so I could ensure I was doing whatever I could to support students as they engaged with these critical topics.

At the end of the interview, I was offered the job.

Today, when my coaching clients ask for support in preparing for an interview, I tell them that what matters most is how they are, not what they say. And how they are is a direct result of what they’re thinking about.

Here are a few ways you could prepare for a job interview:

• Think about the contribution you’d love to make through the position you’re applying for. Maybe you want to contribute bold leadership, compassion, transparency, or energy. Write it down. Make sure you really embrace it — you might try to visualize yourself in that position, carrying out that contribution with enthusiasm.

• Ask a friend to pose the question to you: “What is the contribution you’d love to make in this job?” When you’re speaking about it, let the quality of what you’re saying sink in. Say it a few times until your friend can tell you really mean it.

• Before the interview, take a moment to remind yourself of your contribution. Focus fully on this, and trust that whatever words you say will be the right ones. Confidence shows, and it comes from knowing why you’re in the room in the first place.